


Drunk Last Night

by Jpat82



Category: Marvel
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-28 23:25:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17192189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jpat82/pseuds/Jpat82





	Drunk Last Night

You stormed out of your apartment, you had given on sleeping about a half an hour ago. It's was well past midnight and thoughts of him raced through your head. Frankly it was starting to piss you off, the memories that refused to relinquish their hold on you. You had hoped in the six months that you had broken up they would ease up. During the day it was easy, you could keep your mind busy, at night, when you finally had nothing to keep your mind preoccupied was when they infiltrated.   
Like lingering ghosts, they haunted you. His stormy blue eyes, the way the skin wrinkled around the corners when he smiled. His lopsided grin when you were being silly with him, just to hear him laugh. How safe you felt wrapped in his arms, the way his fingers ghosting your skin when you both lay in bed late at night. You didn't want to admit it, but dear lord you missed him.   
Before you knew it you had found yourself at bar, on your third drink. Trying desperately to wash his memories from you, if only you take the last three years of your life back. If only. 

Bucky laid in his bed staring up at ceiling, his thoughts still of you, the same they had been every day since the fight. The pain in your eyes when he called it off, the way you lashed out. All he wanted to do was protect you, he didn't want you to worry if he would come back from mission, whether or not he would keep you up with his nightmares.   
He rolled over staring at the wall, pushing back every remembrance of you. The way your head tilted at him when your heavenly laughter escaped your lips. The smell of your shampoo that lingered in your hair after your showered, how he would inhale it deeply when he had troubles sleeping.   
He rolled to the other side, shutting his eyes tightly attempting to forget how soft your skin felt when he held you. The gentle hum you made as he wrapped his arms around you while you cooked. The way you always seemed to dance when no one was watching, the way it would lift his tired soul.   
Bucky sat up in his bed, rubbing his face trying to forget you. 

"We gotta talk." The sentence echoed into his head, you had regarded him lifting your head from your book as he had waited in the entry way of your apartment. The look on your face seared into his brain as your eyes landed on his bag, all of his stuff that he had at your place.   
"Bucky, what's going on?" He could tell in that moment you had known what he was going to say, he had to watch as you bit your lip, pain already evident in your eyes.   
"I can't keep doing this to you, it's not fair to you." He said, looking at the floor, guilt washing over him.   
"What do you mean?" You had breathed, your words trembled.   
"I can't keep putting you through the pain of wondering if I'll make it back." He pinched his eyes closed not wanting to see your face any longer.   
"But you always come back." He could hear the pain in your voice.   
"I almost didn't this time." He bit back, trying to steel his own nerves. He didn't know you had risen from the couch and crossed the room, placing your hand on his chest.   
"But you did." You whispered choking back tears. He tore your hand from his chest, turning away from you.   
"I'm sorry, y/n, I can't do this." His words came out harsher then he intended them to you.   
"Fine! Just go then." You words hit him. "I'm not going to beg you stay in my life if you don't want to be here!"  
He turned and looked at you, his heartbreaking seeing the tears cascading down you face. He didn't want to leave, he didn't want to hurt you, he was just wanting to protect you from envitable pain he would cause you.   
He hated himself then, he hated himself now. 

You were on your eighth drink, when you fished out your phone. The background still one lingering memento of the two of you, smiling, heads over heels for each other. Or at least you thought both of you had been.   
You: I wish I had never met you.   
Something you had deleted hundreds of times, the lie you told yourself thousands of times. You hit send and took another sip of your drink.   
Bucky: I know, and I'm sorry.   
You heart started pounding, and your hands shook. Tears welled behind your eye lids as you closed them tight trying to push them away.   
You: I hate you. I hate that I can't forget you no matter how hard I try. I hate that I can't sleep at night because all I do is think of you. I think of us, and I don't want to. It hurts.   
You hit send before you could stop yourself. You pushed your phone back into pocket and paid your tab. You stepped out of the bar, crossing the street as the rain came down in sheets. A song filtered out of another bar as you passed it, a song your remembered slowly dancing with him in the comforts of your living room. They way he laughed as he twirled you, pulling you into his arms.   
You heart was heavy as made it your apartment. You fished your key from your pocket, unlocking the door. You crossed the threshold, flipping on the light.   
He stood in the center of your living room soaked to the bone, his hands shoved in his pockets. His head rose, eyes locking on to you. They were puffy and red, signs he had been crying, dark bags hung under them telling you he hadn't been sleeping well.   
"You aren't the only one. I can't get you out of my head. I made the biggest mistake of my life." His words choking up as they spilled out. "Please, forgive me. I can't live without you in my life."  
"Bucky." You cried, rushing to him, wrapping your arms around his neck.   
"You were the single best thing to happen to me. And I shouldn't of pushed you away." He murmured in your ear. Tears fell from your eyes as you clinged to him for dear life. "I love you."  
"I love you too. Don't ever do that to me again, you idiot." You managed to stumble out between tears.   
"I promise."


End file.
